Well, after battling a sinus infection for 2 weeks and surviving the insanity of helping throw the annual Halloween extravaganza, I can fill you all in on our last night of terror….
Last Week….
Movie #1: The Ring (2002, with Naomi Watts, Brian Cox, Martin Henderson)
We three had already seen this movie. It completely freaked us out the first time. It was still just as creepy this go-around. Impending death…a bizarre video…suicidal horses…sadistic and freaky little girl… If someone gives you an old VHS tape to watch—DON’T DO IT!!! YOU WILL DIE!!! (I can’t say more in case folks haven’t seen it… No spoilers for this one!)
Ratings: 4s all around!
Movie #2: Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982, with Tom Atkins, Stacey Nelkin)
Worst movie in any of the slasher franchises…seriously. John Carpenter agreed to direct another Halloween movie providing the plot revolved around some other psychopath than Michael Myers. BIG MISTAKE. You go from two excellent, and downright scary, horror flicks (Halloween and Halloween II) to this horrible dud. Basic premise—all the kids buy these masks that will turn them into killers at 9pm on Halloween. Here’s the first problem—there are 3 mask designs…it is absolutely unfathomable that all the children in the country will all want to be the same. Problem number two—you don’t care about any of the characters whatsoever, so you really don’t give a crap that they’re all gonna be murdered in a matter of hours by brainwashed child delinquents hopped up on sugar and chocolate. Problem number three—an entire town is decimated and then replenished with androids by one really ancient Irishman. Like no one would notice what was going on… I mean—really. Problem number four—the title says “Season of the Witch”. There’s no mention of witches… at all. They did drag a huge pillar from Stonehenge to southern California, but it’s all done with lasers not witchcraft. Problem number five—that damn annoying commercial jingle that plays the ENTIRE movie. You want all the little kids to murder everyone just so that damn jingle would stop. Seriously. Annoying. As. Crap.
Note: It is our belief that every electronic synthesizer in California was blown up in the making of the music for this movie. Our sympathies to the Synthesizer Humane Society of the 1980s.
Ratings: Jason 2; Kathy 1; Me…. -.5 (Yes, that’s a negative sign. 88 minutes of my life that I will never get back.)
Halloween Week!!!!! (Movies that involve lots of fog)
Movie #1: Sleepy Hollow (1999, Tim Burton, with Johnny Depp, Christina Ricci)
This is a retelling of Washington Irving’s classic short story “The Legend of Sleepy Hollow”. Although Tim Burton takes liberties with the plot, he remains true to the eerie atmosphere of Irving’s creation and the little idiosyncrasies of the different characters. Burton is a great character developer (excepting Dark Shadows… see earlier blog post), and he excels in this one. He takes a large number of townspeople and creates this little world in which superstition, fear of evil, mistrust, and preservation of appearances are all paramount. “Truth is not always appearance.” Johnny Depp (sigh….) plays Ichabod Crane, and in interviews about his performance, he has always maintained that he saw Crane as a sort-of prepubescent girl—prissy, frightened of shadows, and a know-it-all. It works in this movie. It gives enough humor to offset the ominous happenings in the Hollow. We loved: the scarecrows in this movie! They were often more frightening than the horseman! We also loved: the casting for this movie. Michael Gough, Michael Gambon, Miranda Richardson, Jeffrey Jones… they were all phenomenal.
Ratings: Jason & Kathy 4s; Me 4.5
Movie #2: The Fog (1980, John Carpenter, with Adrienne Barbeau, Jamie Lee Curtis, Hal Holbrook)
I just love how all of John Carpenter’s creations have his name in the title credits: John Carpenter’s The Fog; John Carpenter’s Halloween; John Carpenter’s The Thing…. They’re his damn it, and he wants to be sure you know! Honestly, I saw the 2005 remake (and love it) before I ever saw this original. It is dated now; however, the premise is good. The interesting thing about this movie to us was that a large portion of the cast were all in Carpenter’s Halloween… kinda like Tim Burton always uses the same folks… but if ain’t broke, don’t fix it! I can’t say much about plot because again I don’t want to spoil it for folks that haven’t seen it. However, I will say… watch the remake. Of the two, the 2005 version communicates the story better, and the effects are much, much better. We all agreed that the ending of Carpenter’s original 1980 movie would have been better if the eyes didn’t glow red. Those glowing red eyes took silhouettes that would be very scary and turned them into 1980s cheese.
Ratings: 2.5s all around.
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