Thanksgiving and Airplanes!

Thankful for turkeys, pumpkin pie, and airplanes—

Movie #1:  The Concorde…Airport 1979 (1979, with Robert Wagner, George Kennedy, Eddie Albert,   

                Susan Blakely)

The fourth of the Airport disaster movies that spanned the decade of the ‘70s, we all agreed that this one was the worst of the four.  This one actually had a plot—Robert Wagner is a traitor and a terrorist (by virtue of illegal arms sales to foreign terrorist regimes) and upon being discovered by his reporter girlfriend, he tries to blow up the plane, eliminating the evidence against him.  Obviously, they were pulling from the political landscape of the time.  The thing that makes the previous three Airport movies so great is the fact that they’re so outlandish—to the point of being science fiction at times with three-story airplanes, baby grand pianos, mile-wide aisles, and natural disasters that would never actually occur in nature.  This movie had none of that.  It was more a realistic snapshot of the political climate of the day and the dull, cramped, non-luxurious airplanes of real life.  SUCK.  These movies are all about being over-the-top.  This movie wasn’t even close.  The other problem with this movie is George Kennedy’s character—Joe Patroni (whom Kathy has consistently called “Joe Paterno” in every Airport viewing!).  In all of the other Airport movies, Joe’s character is presented as a mechanic/logistics guy.  They never allude to him being a pilot of any kind.   In this movie—he’s all decked out with a captain’s uniform and flies the dang plane!  WHAT???!!!!   Comparatively speaking, this one was a dud—out of the four. 

What we liked:   Guest appearance by Jimmy Walker (DYNOMITE!)      What confused us:  The guest appearance of Charo.  We waited the whole flipping movie to see that outrageous woman that no one can understand, and when she shows up, it is for literally 2 lines and 40 seconds of airtime.  What was the point?????  Obviously, she was there for name value only.

Ratings: Jason 2; Kathy and me 1

Movie #2:  Airplane!  (1980, with Julie Hagerty, Leslie Nielsen, Robert Stack, Robert Hays, Peter Graves)

What’s your vector, Victor?

The hilarious spoof of the Airport movies, Airplane! Is a comedy that everybody knows.  I have to admit—I’d seen it before, and laughed at spots, but after having watched the disaster movies that this one based itself on, I was crying I was laughing so hard.  At everything!  A pedophile captain (which was really creepy, yet you still laughed), Kareem Abdul Jabar as co-pilot (which makes one ask… what the hell ever happened to him, anyway?….), a neurotic war vet (who thinks he’s John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever), and a host of odd, quirky people.  Everyone’s dying from bad fish dinners, the air traffic controller is trying to quit smoking, drinking, and sniffing glue—all unsuccessfully, and the neurotic war vet has to land the plane.   But the question in the forefront of everyone’s minds as the plane is in turmoil is “When we land—will we be stampeded to death by flower-bearing, muumuu wearing religious zealots?  No.. we want to die now.  We don’t want to land at the airport with the religious hippies!!!” 

What we liked:  Jimmy Walker’s cameo as the airplane washer (DYNOMITE!).    Moral of the story:  for the love of humanity… don’t ever choose a fish dinner on an airplane—if food is even offered during a flight ever again—remember… just say no to the fish!

Ratings:  Jason 5; Kathy and Me 4