Blondes, Butcherings, & Bunnies

2 movies separated by 43 years.  What do they have in common—blonde bombshells with evil lurking in their hearts…

Movie #1:  Double Indemnity (1944 by Billy Wilder, with Barbara Stanwyck, Fred McMurray,

and Edward G. Robinson)

“How could I know that murder sometimes smells of honeysuckle?”

You know we love old movies.  This is perhaps one of the best that we’ve seen.  Absolutely phenomenal.  Obsession…intrigue…betrayal…greed…murder.  All the best plot movers for a story.  Fred McMurray plays a young, handsome insurance salesman that falls for a seductive and sympathetic Barbara Stanwyck.  Together, they hatch a plot to off her husband and collect handsomely on the insurance.  The kicker:  since McMurray knows the tricks of the trade, he knows how to fake the death in order to double the insurance payout—The Double Indemnity Clause.  Fred McMurray and Barbara Stanwyck’s chemistry in this movie is explosive.  It’s sexy.  It’s subtle.  It’s a little sarcastic.  It’s classy. Their verbal exchanges are delivered flawlessly with a wealth of innuendo and snap.  I’m not giving away the end because you need to see this movie.  The whole thing is done through flashback as McMurray is telling what happened.

Things we loved:  1) Edward G. Robinson’s portrayal of McMurray’s boss, Keyes.  Typically the gangster, it’s a departure from what you know him as.  2) Fred McMurray’s infatuation with Barbara’s anklet.  3) The opening credits.  At first, the visual doesn’t make sense to you, but as the story unfolds later, you realize what you were watching as the film opened.  4) This is all me—Barbara Stanwyck’s ring.   Again… it’s a whopper!  I never stop the movie to take a picture (that’s Jason and Kathy’s M.O.), but I HAD to have a picture of that ring.  I.  Want. It.

See!  Look at that rock!

Ratings:  5’s all around.  Hands down.

Movie #2: Fatal Attraction (1987, with Glenn Close and Michael Douglas)

To quote Sheldon from an episode of The Big Bang Theory…”Bitches be crazy.”

**Spoilers Alert. If you haven’t watched this, I am revealing plot items… read at your own risk.

To preface, I myself had never seen this movie before.  I’d heard a lot about it and seen a lot of screen shots and clips, but I’d never watched the whole thing.  This woman was like a female version of Norman Bates.  The short end of the story is that Michael Douglas (Kathy and I agree that he’s sleezy) and Glenn Close have an affair while his wife is away for the weekend.  Then…it all goes to the nut-farm.  Stalking, ceaseless phone calls, visits to his office, declarations of love (and she’s only known him for 3 days!).  She meets his wife, tells him she’s pregnant (I still don’t buy that… I think that was a ploy.), pours acid on his car, kidnaps his daughter.  All kinds of crazy.  And this guy thinks that saying “Let’s just be friends” is gonna get rid of her.  Moron.  I was also disturbed by the fact that she willingly chose to live in the middle of a slaughterhouse—that should say something…  

Sidebar:  People Unite for Bunnies.  If you’ll remember a couple weeks ago, one of the Shelley Winters movies featured a psychotic massacre of several poor bunnies.  Well, here we go again. The woman boils the poor daughter’s little bunny… name of Whitney.  (After Whitney Houston maybe????)   Is there a medical link between being a psychopath and the need to horrendously murder little fluffy bunnies?  Has this been researched?  Is there a pattern?  Do they prefer bunnies to all other animals?  Do fluffy bunnies have a significance to psychopaths?  What is the psychopath to bunny-cide ratio?  Can it be stopped?  We must save the bunnies.

Things that annoyed me:  1) She always wore white.  The appearance of an angel but the depravity of all the demons of hell (maybe that was the point, but it still annoyed me).  2) Her hair.  A messy rats’ nest of 80s spiral perm.  (I love me some big hair—just ask my sister—but I wanted to take the scissors to her head.)  3) Michael Douglas not getting out of the tub immediately when he thought he had drowned her… you KNEW she won’t dead…. Evil don’t die that easily.  Get Out of the Tub, Moron!  4) He never went to the cops and got a restraining order!  After the first few days, he should’ve had her arrested for harassment and stalking!  It was so obvious.  That one act could’ve saved the bunny.  He could’ve saved the bunny.

Ratings:  We all gave it a 4.  It was really well done, and I can imagine when it was first released it was shocking and revolutionary.

Moral of the story:  Don’t have an affair.  But if you must, and they turn out psycho, first of all CALL THE COPS and second TELL THE SPOUSE.  I can tell you…. Your spouse would rather be hurt and mad over the affair than dead from being butchered by a psychopath and have no clue said psychopath was stalking the family.  Hurt and Mad goes away with time…Dead is forever.  (I’m just saying….)

Special Treat!  We’ve having a special movie night extra this week!  Tomorrow we’re watching Gone with the Wind on Blue-Ray.  So stay tuned….. “After all…. Tomorrow IS another day.” 

**No fluffy bunnies were harmed or massacred during the writing of this blog.  All incorrect grammar is for dramatic emphasis only. Any resemblance or reference to psychopaths real or imagined is unintentional and not the responsibility of this blogger.